let me speak

I see my therapist tomorrow.  I need to talk to her about me being scared to lose weight and sabotaging myself.  I also need to bring up that she needs to realize my quest to lose weight in a healthy way IS important to me and she can't keep on dismissing it so quickly.   Not only is it annoying, it's also causing me to avoid talking about it.  I know she just wants to help me challenge my thinking, but then I never even get a chance to say what's on my mind before she interrupts and challenges me.  And then I feel like what I'm saying is wrong, and that I'm "doing therapy wrong" because I'm apparently unable to say the right things.

I went to the cycling class today.  I can tell my legs are already getting stronger.  I was on a higher resistance and kept up better.  They feel dead tired now, though.  Hopefully I'm not useless tomorrow.

I don't have classes tomorrow but I'm going up to campus with Nathan, anyway.  I have an appt at the writing center about a paper due on Monday.  I don't even need to go, but the professor assumes everyone in her class hasn't written since freshman year and would need help and strongly encourages it.  This is not true for me since all of my psychololgy classes and most of my MLS classes have required multple papers, however, making the appointment forced me to write the paper before the weekend.  Plus, its a little bit over her page limit so maybe they can help me figure out what to take out to shorten it. 

From there I have therapy, then, if I'm up to it, another cycling class.  if not, i'll stop by the anatomy lab and help TA that-- or find a cadaver to dissect. Somehow, that is so calming.

Tomorrow is my last long day of the week.

My parents are going on a retreat this weekend so I'll have all of Friday, Saturday and half of Sunday to myself. 

I need that right now.