Drained

Had an appointment with my neurologist today. Nothing really is new. More frustrations. More tears.
Wants my ANA tested again. I had it tested when I was 15 and have the results at home, but I couldn't remember them. Plus, that was so long ago (8 yrs) he wants them redone.

And he wants to me to see a neuropsychologist about the insomnia. There isn't much more he can do about the narcolepsy since my brain isn't responding to medications. And if my carcolepsy med in the morning is what's causing my heart palpatations, then there isn't much he can do because I am completely useless when I am off the that med. And since I've tried every type of insomnia medication and only rozerem worked (and now that is starting not to), he's run out of options as far as that goes. He's hoping the neuropsychologist will be able to help me fall asleep, and that it might help eliviate some of my problems.

He wasn't mad when I told him I took myself off the pamelor--- since I was on that to help get me into stage 4 sleep, but after 4 years I'm still not getting to stage 4 the pamelor is obviously not working. He was fine with that. but had no other ideas.


I cried the whole way home. Put on music and tried to sing along. I read somewhere singing is good when you're freaking out becuase you can't hyperventilate if you're singing. Plus music is theraputic. It helped.

I'm utterly exhuasted right now. But I have a lot of homework to get done for tomorrow, though for Clinical Corrolations and for Molecular Diagnostics lab. 8am lab tomorrow.... I better fall asleep before 3 or 4am tonight or I'm screwed.


Oh. And I have a new job now. Dr. R. asked me yesterday if I wanted to TA for the two parasitology labs. I agreed since I'm already stuck on campus with 6 hour breaks on those days and it's easy money. Cuts into my workout and study time though... which are the only two downsides. But it's a light enough semester I should be able to be okay with it. And she said if there's a day where I'm too busy to TA it's fine. She just needs help most of the time because they are such big labs and parasit can be tricky.


I need to study for that, too, though. There are two labs tomorrow and I haven't looked at parasit stuff since last winter.