dazed

i actually took ativan this morning.


two, actually.

very unlike me.

but the panic...

i'm so dazed right now.
everything im doing is confusing to me.
like logging into blogger.
and writing this entry.
trying to figure out what to eat.

i dont know how long this takes to wear off.
i never take ativan.
i had it one time at rogers, but before then? i dont know.


im afraid of it wearing off.
what will happen?
will only the cloudyiness and confusion wear off
or will the panic come back, too?

i dont want the panic to come back

please
dont let that come back.


nathan isn't answering his phone.
should his church service be lasting longer than 3 hours?
i'm really confused.

my parents have already left for Seattle

so. i'm home alone for 8 days.
that's JUST wnat i need right now.

thank you for that lovely timing.