pissed

I'm really mad at Ronee.
I am beyond dreading tomorrow.

If only we weren't friends.... if only I didn't see her all the time or sit across the bench from her in lab two days every week. I could just not show up. I could be like Mike (our VP) and not return emails or phone calls, and not show up to anything. But i see her. I could say I"m sick (I asked ryann and avery to breathe on me yesterday in the hopes i'll get sick and/or have laryngitis or something), but we have class together Monday, so it would be hard to say i'm sick and show up the next day feeling fine. I'd have to be sick for real and so far I'm not coughing yet.

I was never asked, I was never given any say in this whatsoever. I emailed her and asked if ANYONE else could fill in for me and she said my name was already printed in the programs.
i never told her to print my name. she printed the programs before i was even told i was doing this. TOLD. not ASKED.

this is such BS.

i've been freaking out and crying and shaking and feeling sick to my stomach.

i can't even focus on studying because i'm freaking out.

i emailed Mike in a last ditch attempt to get ahold of him so that he'd fill in for me. i know he probably won't respond, but it's worth a try i guess.

i hate this.
is this what i get for having a 3.9?
well shit, i should have failed a few classes then.
then i wouldn't be in this situation.