Escaping

Ugh. This again. 3:30am. and I have to wake up in 4 hours.
I'm noticing a pattern, though. I should bring this up w. dr heniki next time I see her.
Which reminds me- I need to make an appointment after canceling the one I had on Friday.

I hate 3:30am.
I already finished New Moon. I could start rereading Twilight...
I have a better idea... I could FALL ASLEEP.

I'm tired. But my mind won't turn off.
If only I were manic, then I could be productive with my time awake.
Unfortunatly, I'm not lucky enough for that to happen.
Why do my meds do such a good job at keeping mania away, but not depression?
That hardly seems fair.

I feel pretty pathetic- how upset dropping a class makes me.
It's a class that I don't even need.
Am I seriously that nerdy?
It's just that it's a class I wanted and looked forward to.
It's just disappointing.
I'll get over it.

I need to get interested in biochem.
I can't let myself fall behind.
Maybe when my mood swings back up a little.
If my prediction is correct, this should only last a couple more days.
I'm trying not to think about that, though- I don't want a placebo effect or anything.

There's a lady at the gym that isn't... healthy.
It's easy to see in other people, what I see in myself.

I'm running out of things to say.
I guess I could try to go to bed again.

Tomorrow I'm going to lab for a couple hours, even though I'm not schedule to TA.
They'll be short-staffed, I'm sure. I don't mind helping out.
If it's slow, I'll study in the office until Nathan's done in lab.

I read New Moon in a day and a half.
Funny, i have other books to read, but they don't suck me in like this series does.
I've needed a good series to get into again.
It used to be Dragonlance. Before that- Harry Potter.
I should read Dragonlance again.
Steph still has my book, I think. The first one in the series.
I should order that from the library.
It'll be good- I won't get as sucked in as I did the first time, since I'll remember what happens. But I need a book to read when I can't study and can't sit still and do anything else.
I need that fantasy world to escape into when I need a time-out in life.

What I need is the ability to fall asleep.