need to recharge

Ryann, Joseph and the girls are here for the weekend. Came last night and are leaving tomorrow morning.
A house they were interested in had a price reduction and they wanted to check it out today.
I can't believe they'll be home March 11th.
It hasn't sunk in yet.


I asked Ryann last night if she'd be my matron of honor. She seemed surprised! I'm glad I could ask her in person. and I'm glad she's moving back to Michigan.

I wanted to play with natalie today, but dad wasn't sharing.

dad needs to un-retire and go away.


cutting urges have been kind of strong lately.
i don't know why. maybe the stuff with darryl? i don't know
maybe i should put forth some effort to figure it out.
but i don't really have any effort to spare.

"spring" break starts now.
i have two exams and a paper due as soon as school starts back. so it's not much of a break.

my moods are yucky.
im happy- i like having Ryann here, and i'm excited they're moving back, and i'm happy to not have class this week, and im happy to be able to work on wedding stuff with nathan this week, but i'm just... blech.
i feel worn out.

somedays i wish i could take a timeout from life and go back to rogers for a day or two, to get away so that i can refocus and start again. so that i don't have to make the decisions for a few days.

i'm tired of trying so hard.

i think giving up would take a lot less energy.


i think that's all it is.

i'm just simply worn out.
it's tiring to stick with recovery, be in school, work, and still have something left at the end of the day.

school isn't fun right now. i want school to go on hold for awhile.
i need to recharge.

so it sucks that this break will be full of studying and paper writing.